Kafka, Letter to his father

from The Book of Mean People: Toni Morrison

„The anguish resulting from this disparity of temperaments coupled with a disparity of power between parent and child is familiar to all who have lived through a similar childhood — the constantly enforced, with varying degrees of force, sense that the parent’s version of reality is always right simply by virtue of authority and the child’s always wrong by virtue of submission, and thus the child comes to internalize the chronic guilt of wrongness.”

„What was always incomprehensible to me was your total lack of feeling for the suffering and shame you could inflict on me with your words and judgments. It was as though you had no notion of your power.[…] But you struck out with your words without much ado, you weren’t sorry for anyone, either during or afterwards, one was utterly defenseless against you.”(K.)

„The most heartbreaking effect of these disorienting double standards is that the child grows utterly confused about right and wrong, for they seem to trade places constantly depending on who the doer is, and comes to internalize the notion that he or she is always at fault. Instead of holding up a mirror to validate the child’s experience of reality, such a parent instead traps the child in a fun-house maze of mirrors that never reflect an accurate or static image. Those who have lived through this know how easily it metastasizes into a deep-seated belief that one’s interpretation of reality, especially when reality is ambiguous or uncertain, is always the wrong one, the faulty one, the one fully invalidated by the mere existence of another’s interpretation.”

„Hence the world was for me divided into three parts: one in which I, the slave, lived under laws that had been invented only for me and which I could, I did not know why, never completely comply with; then a second world, which was infinitely remote from mine, in which you lived, concerned with government, with the issuing of orders and with the annoyance about their not being obeyed; and finally a third world where everybody else lived happily and free from orders and from having to obey.”(K.)

„I was continually in disgrace; either I obeyed your orders, and that was a disgrace, for they applied, after all, only to me; or I was defiant, and that was a disgrace too, for how could I presume to defy you; or I could not obey because I did not, for instance, have your strength, your appetite, your skill, although you expected it of me as a matter of course; this was the greatest disgrace of all.”(K.)

„After all, the most devastating pathology of such relationships is the child’s compulsive effort — be it by vain hope or by concrete action — to eradicate the abusive parent’s demons and make the paltry angels endure, only to be disappointed over and over again every time the demons re-rear their undying heads.”

„Your extremely effective rhetorical methods in bringing me up, which never failed to work with me, were: abuse, threats, irony, spiteful laughter, and — oddly enough — self-pity.”(K.)

from Brain Pickings



La Ileana Giusca un grup de domni se dezlantuie sprintar pe o fraza lemnos cracanata. (Ghici ghicitoare: ” Vant care se formeaza pe pantele adapostite ale muntilor expusi perpendicular pe directia vanturilor dominante” (definitie din manualul de geografie de-a IX-a))Ca dovada ca poti sa te indoi de ras si fara vulgaritati si viscerale. Daca mai era nevoie de o dovada.

Alina Nedelea, din cateva tuse nervoase, viu colorate crochiaza cu verva mediteraneano-balcanica despre politica si/pe facebook. Concluzia in fortissimo acut.(si cu un pahar de vin in mana, cum spunea in alta postare)

Cea mai tare fraza am gasit-o insa la Cristina Stihi, ce a postat un articol al lui Plesu, ceva cu pupat toti Piata Independentii, pardon, Aula Magna la Academie. „S-a vorbit de împuşcare oameni cultură. Ei şi?” pai da, daca era o blonda cu tate mari eram si noi cat de cat interesati.

Aici aerul e cleios de la aburii calzi de ploaie pomeridiana, imbibati cu aerosol de flori de tei. Am cules un smoc in drum spre casa si le-am pus la uscat pe dulap, pe ziarul comunisto-libertarian pe care l-am cumparat pe un euro de 1 Mai la San Giovanni, cand am vanat poze in adunatura pestrita ce astepta concertul. Boxele gigantice invecinandu-se cu sfintii ce stau in picioare deasupra catedralei. Ziarul pe care probabil nu-l voi citi niciodata. Cu flori de tei pe el, sa-mi vrajeasca somnul.

E buona notte.